Christian Marriage and the Christian Church

I very much appreciate this emphasis on the importance of the Christian church for Christian marriage.  It is found in chapter one of Love That Lasts by Gary & Betsy Ricucci.

“Simply put, Jesus is building his church (Matthew 16:18; Ephesians 4:15-16), and the local church is the biblical home for Christian marriage, the indispensable context where love and marriage are to be lived out.  Without the church we will be squeezed inexorably into the world’s mold.”

“Most couples in our society have grown up breathing the cultural air of a husband’s independence and a wife’s feminism.  Keeping our own counsel; pursuing our own goals, gratification, and fulfillment; hiding our struggles, weaknesses, and problems; being self-sufficient and self-absorbed – it’s all second (sinful) nature to us.  While this may make for some great executives, entertainers, athletes, and marketers, it makes for terrible marriages.  We need others not only beside us but ahead of us and even over us.  There is no room in Scripture for Lone Ranger spouses. …A couple who commits to a local church begins to put to death proud and dangerous independence.”

“The church is the place where marriages are fed and supported with truth.  The local church is God’s primary context for the teaching and application of God’s Word. …If you truly want to mature as a husband or wife, if you want your spouse to spiritually thrive, if you want to see your family nurtured into the truth, the local church is your God-given context.”

“…The church is the place where marriages are helped in seasons of need.  In every marriage there are times of trial, struggles with sin, and seasons of suffering.  The loss of a job, a significant illness or injury, a financial crisis, persistent patterns of sin in one or both spouses – there are many ways in which serious trials can assault a marriage.  It is at these times that our brothers and sisters in the local church embody the love of Christ to us.”

“…Regardless of the cultural whirlwind around us, it is the local church – Christians living a shared life biblically before God and one another – that will ultimately secure the place and role of marriage and family from generation to generation.”

I agree.  The most biblical Christian marriages are those that are lived out in the life of a local church.  Get this book, Love That Lasts, if you want to study this aspect of marriage in more detail.  And in case you’re interested, the entire book is very much worth reading as well.

shane lems

6 thoughts on “Christian Marriage and the Christian Church”

  1. This sounds like a fantastic book! As I was reading this blog, I began picturing in my mind how our local church has played such an integral part in the life of my marriage. They are always there in our struggles, and we are there for them. We need each other! The support is essential. My wife recently went through a major surgery, and if our church family had not been there for us with their prayers, visits, and help with meals, I don’t know what we would have done. Church life must be an essential part of family life.


  2. This sounds good. A clear mark of how we have soaked up the world’s view is the decline in birth-rate among Bible-believing Christians. Our forefathers had larger families and we, in the wealthiest and heathiest society ever seen, have fewer children. Some Christians will justify this by talking about over-population, which in its political uses is a myth; it does not stop many of these same people from spending large incomes on fewer children and more toys,however; if population issues were the real question, would not all that extra income go to supporting the needy?
    All this being the case, can you imagine a preacher getting up and suggesting that the number of children a couple has should be a question that takes the counsel of the church fellowship into consideration? “That is a personal matter” or “None of your business!” would be the most likely response. But if the purpose of marriage is one of the most basic issues in our life before God, why is this purpose of marriage effectively off-limits in discussion and preaching? Any preacher who would do the above has got to have big…nerve.
    This assumption that our male/femaleness and marriage is a function merely of personal fulfillment and the right to sexual pleasure has left our entire flank wide-open for the “gay marriage” onslaught; if we refuse to make clear that marriage involves an implicit commitment to (God willing) bear and raise children, then when others apply the similar needs of fulfillment and sexual rights to other relationships, we find ourselves sounding like dogs in the manger.
    For the same reason I would hold that operations to prevent conception, in men or women, is a rejection of God’s will. Yet I have heard Christian people speak unashamedly of vasectomies or “tying my tubes”.


    1. Really good points, Monty. We should consider whether our priorities are in line with the Lord’s, or focusing more on our own selfish pleasures and desires, as the “gay” community.


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